To the Road of Faith

Continuing from my last post... I was half discussing and half arguing with God last week. I asked him why He got me into all these and now He doesn't give me a job. A brother was asking me why I thought this was a plan God has for me. I think that was a good reminder for me. Ahttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.photo.gif
Add Images I started looking for job, I started to rely on myself more and more. I have thought about going into sales for a long time, but never had the courage to do it. A few months ago, when I went to shop for cars with Ar Dee, I saw a lot of bad salesman. I thought if they can make a living out of it, I can too. Back then, I had two choices. One is to go into sales, the other is to keep trying to go into engineering work. Many friends are discouraging me from going into sales because of my introvert character, but I think I have improved alot through the years. On the other side, I don't remembered anything about engineering anymore, basically impossible to get back in. I had an interview with Toyota back then, but it didn't work out. I felt that God wanted me to go into sales because I get to meet a lot of people. Many opportunities to spread gospel instead sitting in front of a computer in an engineering job. Also, my training in car sales is also going to help me in terms of building rapport with new comers in church. There's many things in common in selling cars and spreading gospel. And the last reason is, the working hours will not affect my church's life.

I applied to quite a few dealers for the past few weeks, not many of them are getting back to me. I was getting disappointed. After arguing with God, suddenly the next morning I've got a call from Mazda. The manager said he just got my resume, but actually I sent that out over a week ago. He called me at 11:30pm and wants me to get there before 12:30pm. Thank God that it was my dayoff. Everything went smooth and the manager is willing to train new salesman.

I started my work at Agincourt Mazda this morning. Its a good dealership, the place is nice, the people are friendly. Amazingly, I actually enjoyed it. I haven't enjoyed working for the past few years. Although I have landed a job, but I think this is where the journey begins, to what I called "The Road of Faith". Salesman get paid based on 100% commission. Most of the client are basically referral. So if you guys know anybody who is interested in buying a car, please let me know. Its a very unstable job. But I think if God takes me to this path, He'll keep his promise and take care of me.

"So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
[Isaiah 41:10]

Lost...

I have taken a week off from work. Although I had a lot of free time, but I seemed to be really tired all the time and a little lost in my life. I am still quite lost in my career search, still lost in my spiritual path, still lost somewhere...

I was discussing about our fellowship's bible verse with a few B&S over the weekend. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6" Someone questioned if we should change our bible verse every year to make B&S to remember God's word instead of just reciting every week without actually thinking about what it means. I have to admit that I don't think about the verse very often. I do recite the words deadly every week.

In the first year of Galilee fellowship, they picked this verse because a lot of the B&S are in the early stage of their career. A lot of them are hunting for jobs or still searching for opportunity to switch to a better job. We needed to rely on God and put our faith to the test. Now that our life stages are starting to change. Most of us already have a decent/acceptable job and focusing on different part of our life. Some of us might be starting to drift away from God as we start to rely more and more on ourselves. No matter what life stage we're at, I think this bible verse will still apply. So why change it?

I've been trying to change my career for the past few months. I have done my research, I have finish a course and also got my license. It seemed to me that God was taking care of everything. I trust that God will provide if I just follow his path. I even took up some serving at church because I have faith that God will give me a job that won't affect my serving at church. Now that I started to hunt for my new job, nothing is as smooth as before. It doesn't seems to be that easy after all. I'm starting to lose my faith. I'm starting to question if this is really the path God wants me to take. Did I really trust in Him with all my heart and not lean on myself? Did I acknowledge Him enough in my job search? Please pray for me.

Naive...

I think I have grown up in a very different environment than the people around. I grew up where people try to insult others and make fun of others. I grew up where people can say whatever they want and just take it as a joke. I grew up where I don't need to use very polite words to communicate. I grew up where I can just be extremely honest and straight to my friends. I do know that a lot of people around me cannot accept the way I talk. The way I talk is not friendly enough for them. But I always think my friends will eventually see the real me. I thought they'll eventually see that's the way I talk, I am not trying to hurt anyone. I thought they'll eventually accept me the way I am. But I realize I'm just too naive. May be many people around me have already left me or ignored me, many of them don't even consider me as a friend anymore and I don't even know it. I'm just fooling myself.

I think nowadays being friends together is a very complicated things. I always thought friends are friends, that's very simple. When your friends need help, you go help them; your friends have a gathering, you go join them; your friends want to chat, have a drink with them. But nowadays, people need to consider a lot of things before making friends with each other. Again, my friends have told me that I'm too naive. I guess they're right, but I still want to keep being naive. At least it'll save a lot of headache. I don't care if my friend have lied to me or hurt me. They're still my friends, unless they don't want to be friend with me anymore. I think making friends can still be very simple with a pure heart.